According to experts, this is the part where I really need to sell myself to you. So, I considered all of the (very limited) ways I could do this, and this is the best I could come up with: Once in 5^th grade I guessed the right number of gummy worms in a jar. I have also successfully dressed up and took my sister’s senior yearbook photos. Or maybe you’ll be impressed by the time I farted in front of my crush and he nearly threw up (we’re both still healing from that one). Is it working? Are you being sold yet?

Hopefully, that worked, and now you’re going to be a lifelong Behind the Blonde Curtain reader, hooray! Meaning, it’s time for introductions. I’m Jess, creator and writer of this little blog. I’m a 20-something year old gorl, who loves telling stories, especially those that are a little odd and embarrassing.

I’m a big fan of creative writing—in any form. Quippy texting might just be my love language. I graduated in Editing and Publishing. When I can’t sleep, I’ll come up with captions for pictures I know I’ll never post. Puns are my first language. I guess you could say, words and I are in a pretty serious relationship.

So serious, that I decided to go public with our relationship, by creating Behind the Blonde Curtain—a place to share the stories from my life and the inner musings of my mind. And if you just so happen to enjoy reading what I write along the way, then I’ll be happier than the day I won the gummy worms in 5^th grade, which is saying a lot.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, welcome to Behind the Blonde Curtain!

Stay as long as you’d like.